Raise your hand if you’re one of the people who dreads getting on a plane with small children.
SAME.
Raise your hand if you’re one of those people who brings their small children on a plane.
SAME.
So, if I belong to the first group, why the hell am I bringing my small children on a plane? To put it bluntly, my children are human beings who deserve experiences and adventures just like you and I. They should get to visit their grandparents and experience the beautiful island their father grew up on, but they should also get to do fun things like go to Disney World. I know kids aren’t for everyone, and there are tons of things to do in this world where there will never, ever be children present. Air travel isn’t one of those things. That being said… let’s talk about how it feels to be an adult flying with small children, and why we chose to fly rather than drive if either is an option.
First and foremost (for me), I have just spent a preposterous amount of money on 4 plane tickets, knowing full-well that these tiny humans are going to spend most of the flight climbing all over my husband and I. Does my one year old technically need her own seat? No. Do I want to have the ability to strap her little butt in a chair if Mommy needs a damn minute? Absolutely. Are those plane tickets a waste of money? Depends on how the flight goes. Second, not only will we be spending several many hours in small, indoor spaces with our own children, but we are knowingly forcing other adults (who may not like children) to do the same. I love my children, but they are tiny humans who are just learning things like personal space, emotions, and public behavior. We were living in global lockdown for the vast majority of their short little lives, so we have a whole extra learning curve in this newest generation of humans. Not everyone gets that. Not everyone has the emotional capacity to even consider the perspective of the adults or the children in the situation. Some people may have actually given it some thought and decided that they just don’t care anyway. I know all of those things, and I know people are going to say crappy stuff about us and to us and I’m fine with that; it’s a ‘you’ problem, not a me problem. My completely innocent and joyous children however, do not deserve an emotional immaturity dump all over a day that is already full of huge emotions for them; they don’t understand that ‘you’ are the problem and will inevitably burst into the tears that are so heavily feared because they think they have done something wrong by being on the plane.
Third on the list is the bathroom situation. In general, toddlers are human garbage disposals. My kids eat and drink CONSTANTLY, which results in many, many potty trips and diaper changes in a day. Now, my 3 year old is independently potty trained but new situations can throw her (and any toddler) completely off her game. Generally, when we take a road trip or even spend a day running errands as a family, her poor little intestines go on lockdown. She’ll pee in a public bathroom, but that’s where she draws the line. For a day of travel, this is fine but there is going to be some amount of terror about having to use the airplane bathroom if needed so… who even knows if we’ll make it before there’s an accident? The one year old is still very much in diapers, which is infinitely easier… unless there is a BM in mid-air. You can’t leave your kid sitting in their own filth. You also dread trying to change their diaper in the tiny airplane bathroom with really no flat surface. You don’t want to change them in your seat row for many reasons, but mostly kindness to the other passengers and fear of pedophiles… So, what do you do? I mean, obviously you suck it up and wrestle them into submission into the tiny bathroom but somebody is walking out of that little stall emotionally broken and sweaty (probably the adult).
There are also some experiences that aren’t necessarily unique to my little family, but they are things we have to prepare for pretty much any time we go out in public, and some that we have to consider specifically when traveling. The biggest general outing concern for us is food. Our three-year old is allergic to peanuts and eggs, so we have to make sure that any time we travel anywhere, she’s going to be able to eat safely. We also have to make sure that we’re prepared in the event of accidental cross-contact with an allergen. As food-allergy parents, this has become pretty routine for us, but when we’re traveling we have to make sure that whoever has the EpiPen doesn’t walk away with it, which is tricky because it’s usually in my purse and I don’t ever even think about leaving that somewhere other than my person. There’s also the mobility factor. Both girls walk, but they have teeny tiny legs and anyone who has gone anywhere with toddlers will tell you that they will sit and not budge when those little legs get tired. I don’t know about you, but carrying a 30+ lb child through an airport sounds atrocious to me. Do we bring the stroller wagon? What kind of maneuverability will we have with that? Do we bring both strollers? One stroller? If we bring two strollers, how are we moving the luggage? We also have to consider the boredom factor. Our three year old has a tablet and headphones, but we really try to leave that as a last resort; once the tablet is on she is a complete zombie all day and you are in for a whole meltdown when the battery dies or it’s time for bed. They each get to bring one doll or stuffed animal, we have coloring books, crayons, books, snacks…. I mean every time we go anywhere we are ready… but there will be a time where they don’t want anything we have, or they both want to use both blue crayons at the same time, or they are just flipping tired but they are out of their element and can’t settle enough to nap.
Do we bring the stroller wagon? Do we bring the strollers? One stroller? If we bring two strollers, how are we moving the luggage?
Candice
If all of these things are such pain points with air travel, why don’t we just drive? Well, sometimes we can’t. And sometimes 4 hours of combined airport and flying time seems YEARS shorter than a 6 hour car ride when you have kids. Car travel has all of these same issues… plus the cost of gas, tolls, long stretches with no access to a bathroom, and mom gets carsick. While you’re in the car, the kids cannot move and will eventually start causing a ruckus because they NEED to move. They will pee at a rest stop (or get a diaper change) and you will ask them repeatedly if they need to go again before you get in the car and they will tell you no. 20 minutes down the road, they will need to poop and it will be 60 miles until the next rest stop. They will drop their stuffed animal and you won’t be able to reach it because it rolled under the driver’s seat and they will scream bloody murder until they break you or they pass out. They will spill their snack or their juice all over themselves and have to sit in it until we get where we’re going and you will hear “Mommy, I need a new shirt,” every 3-5 minutes until that happens. They will fall asleep in an awkward carseat position and then wake up crying because their neck hurts. The big one will scream at the top of her lungs because the little one is “looking at her.” Honestly, if the drive is over 4 hours in a car and I have a choice, we are absolutely flying. Sorry not sorry.
Traveling with toddlers is exhausting. Plain and simple. It’s exhausting for us, them, and for our fellow travelers. We get it. We are trying to make it as smooth as possible for all of us involved because it’s also extremely rewarding. Seeing your kid be so proud of themselves for conquering a fear, seeing their curiosity, watching them learn in real-time… it’s honestly the coolest thing. Again, I know not everyone loves kids and I’m not telling you that you have to, I’m just suggesting that maybe instead of seeing a small child on a plane and thinking “Oh great…” you try thinking “I’m going to watch a human being learn something today.” It’s not going to stop them from annoying you; they annoy me, and I’m their mom. But maybe, just maybe, it might make the trip just a little bit more pleasant for all of us.
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